e2e

(am I moving with intention?)

performance, 2023

An imaginary software, presented on two screens surrounding the user, functions to probe the user of their suppressed sentiments of shame or guilt — in this case of past sexual encounters and assaults. Like a possessed mirror, the software takes on the guise of the user when speaking to them. This scenario is applied to a familiar space of self care with the presence of the yoga mat and the physical therapy elastic band. Therapy bands pose a distinct conundrum: they are designed to assist the body in stretching or strengthening overused or sore muscles — but they can also constrict the body tightly and cause harm if used unconventionally.

It’s supposed to feel good, but can quickly become something that doesn’t.

With the elastic gripped in each hand, the performer leans into each bend and extension — sometimes a pose, sometimes a push up — the body makes new shapes.

With multiple revisits, the performer builds a relationship with the parameters that are constants and the ones that are subject to chance: such as the voice of the make-believe software and the unpredictability of the latex band. The performer builds new response relationships to not only the voice, but also to the elastic band’s tension points and rebounds — which aren’t entirely up to their control as they move.

Muscle memory becomes resilience — and resistance. The ritual of the performance unlocks for the user new permissions: a body site of unsolicited advances and sexual violence can perhaps imagine itself (even if only momentarily in the fantasy of the performance) as a site too for intervention, healing, and pleasure (and desire).

a body 

understands

strengthens

develops

                                                      transforms

                fights back

                                                       learns

                                                                                                      enjoys

    becomes